A furnace sealed
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The truth is, I’ve rarely done self-portraits, with everything they represent I mean, and do not talk about that nonsense of “unmasking oneself” which everyone ends up obsessing with. Many tend to associate authenticity with nudity, with removal of belongings. People do not recognize the truth as such when they see it. Because, in fact, I do just the opposite, try to stop being me, and lighten all useless burdens that one carries in one day in a week to get in front of a camera. I find that more sincere and less hollow.
In the end, I only take with me the treasures. These devices, those objects to which we cling, end up being ourselves in slightly different forms and essences, and unknowing them, is unknowing myself. Is to forsake the minimum of poetry, that makes bearable an existence.
I see more words, in objects, attires and veils, than the bodies themselves. For me, the first are decisions, devotions and passions. The body is just a vehicle of all this consciousness, unspeakable and unspoken. But this is still a series of memories, revived in flesh and bone … at least I’ve moved beyond the anguish of thinking is a cage.
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7 Comments
J. Allyse
You bring up very good points and I enjoy reading how poignantly you describe the meaning of personal objects. You’re absolutely right. Our personal objects are special to us because they mean something unique to us and we, humans, give them meanings. That’s why we get upset if something precious to us is lost forever and we say things like “blah blah blah is irreplaceable.”
Marcela
Yes, what I meant is that I use my body as a vehicle to express all this unspeakable matters in art, not as a form of self-portrait or a exploration of my own physical presence. Objects, and accesories give new meanings and deeper links between our minds and the physical world :)
Andreas Supangkat
I guess what you say is correct indeed. You do not mask yourself you are trying to only take out / bring out your female-ness as an icon and theme to life in your picture but not to promote yourself as a person and subject to be liked as you are in person.
But on a more general level the mainstream will definitely appeal to the “beauty” found in your physique. As for me I have known from the beginning that the poetic in your picture has been the property of ‘femaleness’ put in ravaging dark world that is yours :) the solace and fear is contradictory yet harmonious.
Marcela
Andreas, I’m aware of my place in the “mainstream” and is impossible not to fall into some very rigid categories I don’t pretend to. I don’t give much thought to that anyway. This is a constant search I share humbly with anyone who appreciates it, and I’m glad you do!
Thanks for your thoughts (:
K. Orejuela
estás que vuelas mujer! :) me gusta mucho su empeño.
Marcela
Gracias querida, ando más bien vaga. No sé cómo expiar culpas! :p
Andreas Supangkat
No problemo, I get tons of things to consider like this when I try to design mock exhibitions or art research anyway :P glad if that motivates you as an artist
everything has two sides in art… the market generally is not so sensitive when it comes to realizing the true purpose of art. While the true purpose of art is to serve the “inside” of a person(soul, heart, mind, whatever you want to call it) yet it is a paradox that we cannot deny even art galleries live in conjunction to the market (funding out of trend, accessibility etc). So I guess ignorance and purity do really get along >.<